Relationships: Choice or Necessity? - PART 1

Relationships: Choice or Necessity? - PART 1

Love. Philosophers and poets have been writing about love for millennia. It’s thought to be the most valuable thing in life. The connection of two souls. The uniting of two pieces destined to find each other despite all circumstances. We idealize love. Wars have been waged over love. People have died for love. For some it is a lifelong quest. But to be fair, most people think finding love is finding their soul mate. And here in lies a big problem.

It is often easier to believe there is some magic involved in falling in love, that circumstance and timing need to coincide perfectly in the meeting of two compatible souls. That the stars align just right and in walks your soul mate – waiting for you all their life.

Believing there will be a sign when you meet the person you’re destined to be with puts into question your free will, and that’s a problem. What if you don’t really like the person? What if they’re not what you thought your soul mate would be like? And what about all those high school crushes and summer flings? What were those, if not love? Were you just practicing? Or were you perhaps just wrong?

The truth is, you had a choice. You’ve always had a choice.

It is far too often that we rely on the magic to determine if another person is appropriate and right for us. What we should be relying upon is our own inner voice and our right to choose.

This doesn’t mean we should only go for one ultimate love! It just means that you do have a choice. We can’t always blame magic. The big debate we often hear is do we absolutely need someone in our life, or do we choose to have someone in our life? There is a difference and it is why many relationships work or fail.